By BeBe Sweetbriar | BeBeSweetbriar.com

Sometimes you just have to give thanks where a big thank you is due. So, thank you to our good old American beauty pageants who keep putting out wonderful titleholders dedicated to saving the world, or quite frankly our asses, from walking blindly into a world of uncertainty. Leading that pack of heroines is Miss Richfield 1981 (created by Russ King) who year in and year out brings to a stage in a city, a parking lot, a backyard weenie roast, or anywhere folks interested in gaining an upper hand to surviving our alleged peril will gather. It has been a few years, with all the Orbitz commercials and attention to the well-being of gay cruise passengers, since Miss Richfield has been to San Francisco. But, we need not worry any longer! Miss Richfield 1981 will be at Oasis (SF Nitey Award Winner 2017) April 13-15 to share with us much needed survival joy through her new show 2020 Vision: A Survival Guide To The New World. Being apart of Miss Richfield’s tight knit inner circle, I was able to dial her up for a quick Q & A before she hopped on that bus headed cross country from Richfield, Minnesota to our City on the Bay.
BEBE: It’s been 3 years since you were last in San Francisco. What has been the biggest thing to happen in your life that you can’t wait to let us in on?

MISS RICHFIELD 1981: I no longer wear make up! I’m going for that natural look that Mrs. Trump III is making so popular! Following in the steps of the First Lady always keeps me current!

Is it just because you are a long-standing Miss Richfield titleholder that you want to save the world, or have you always pledged your dedication to mankind?

It’s common knowledge that any beauty titleholder will offer to save the world! It’s one of the two answers we’re taught to give in all beauty pageants – the other is anything about Jesus. So it seemed a natural fit for my new quality production, not to mention we could be on the verge of Armageddon, so that helps.

Your latest show 2020 Vision: A Survival Guide To The New World implies the world we knew has changed. How so?

Well for starters, I think this is the first time we’ve elected a President who is one of the secondary colors. It’s taking me a bit of time to get used to this, as I’ve never been a big fan of orange since the Anita Bryant days – sadly one beauty queen who went terribly awry. But on a positive note, this could be the moment when Reality TV actually becomes reality for all of us. Can the Housewives of the Beverly Hills be the next judges on the Supreme Court? Will the boys of Duck Dynasty be heading up education? When are we going to see a good old-fashioned cat fight in the Oval Office? With Kellyanne’s feet on the sofa, you know that’s coming!

Since we are such old…. I mean good friends, can you give me just one quick survival tip before arriving to San Francisco so I can stay one step ahead of the scavengers out there?

I’m fortunate to have come from a long line of survivors, largely due to wise words handed down from one Richfield generation to the next. For example, a survival tip from my mother: “You can lose your money, you can lose your lipstick, and you can lose your dignity, but if you pack a smile in your handbag, you’ll always be able to find a trucker to give you a ride home!”

You travel so much week in and week out, how do you keep your finger on the pulse of what’s happening in the world when keeping track of what time zone you’re in can itself be a challenge?

Miss Richfield 1981

The biggest help is my Pamprin with codeine, which makes time zones irrelevant. I also keep a roll of quarters in my handbag so I can watch TV in the bus depot. But to be completely honest, traveling makes it most difficult to find love. I don’t know if you’re aware, but most single gals in my stage of life are more likely to be killed by a terrorist, than find a boyfriend. So next year, I’ll be relocating to Iraq to better my chances.

Do you think there will ever be a time when your work will be done and you will have enlightened us about as much as you can?

Actually that already happened about 7 years ago when I emceed a horse semen auction in Phoenix. I remember thinking, “Wow, I think I’m done!” But the gals at my church in Richfield keep buying me bus tickets to go someplace else. It’s amazing, but every time I get home, there, on the screen door of my trailer, is another bus ticket to go some place else. Their love and support is really touching!

What do you hope the people of San Francisco will walk away with after seeing your shows April 13-15 at Oasis?

I want them to leave saying, “I should have paid a dollar more for that ticket!” After all, my new 2020 Vision show has new music, new videos, new chatter, and most importantly a new message for our new world! I want to offer people a message of hope– or at least survival! You know Armageddon is not an easy topic to cram into an hour, but I’ve done it and created a fun, toe-tapping look at the end of the world. It’s also always a bonus when I remember the words to the songs! So please invite neighbors, co-workers, friends or enemies! Just think about who deserves it, and bring them along!

MISS RICHFIELD 1981 appears in NEW show 2020 Vision: A Survival Guide To The New World April 13-15 at OASIS in SF. www.sfoasis.com for Tix and info.

Follow Miss Richfield 1981 on Facebook: @missrichfield1981